HIMYM Halloween 2023 Short

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NSFW

Trademark Acknowledgement: The author acknowledges the trademarked and copyrighted status and trademark owners of the following items mentioned in this story: the Avengers, Black Panther/T’Challa, Black Widow, and the Hulk–characters owned by Marvel, a subsidiary of The Walt Disney Company.

“Tricks for Treats” or, “Hulk Smash”

Elliot

While my son was sufficiently distracted by superheroes punching their way through hordes of robots I crept into the kitchen to take the sacks of candy for trick-or-treaters down from their hiding place. The plan was to pour it into my huge plastic cauldron and sneak it onto the porch, but the first crinkle of cellophane brought my child’s footsteps coming my way–fast.

ThudthudthudTHUDTHUDTHUD. “Daddyyyyyyyy!”

I smirked at the candy in my hands, turning to Izzy with a sigh. “Isaiah, you know this isn’t for you. It’s for the other mothlings who are coming to our house for trick-or-treating.”

“LIIIIIES, DADDY!” he bellowed, hopping onto the bar stool nearest to me out of the four tucked under the island counter. “You said that I get the afters. So why can’t I get it now instead of later?”

I set the candy down, putting my hands on my hips to give him my sternest look. “I said that if there was some left over you could share it with me and Papa. But first we have to give everyone else a chance to take some.”

He loosed a miniature version of Bis’ growl and flailed his arms in fury. It took everything in me not to coo at how adorable it was to see a fuzzy little moth child dressed up like Black Panther throwing a tantrum. It was important to take his big feelings seriously. “I’m hungry!”

I bent to get more on his level. “I can make you a fruit toast.”

“That’s not enough! I need candy.

“Isaiah.”

“Daddy.”

I sighed, hanging my head. “Izzy, trick-or-treating starts in an hour. If you have candy now then by the time it starts you’ll be sleepy and won’t want to go. But you want to go, right? You want to try it?” That was why I’d brought the idea to the other moth families with young kids in the first place–Izzy had seen it over and over again in the human media I’d exposed him to, and he was desperate to try it.

“Yes,” he pouted, and when I saw tears pooling in his big red eyes my heart shattered for him. “But I’m hungry now.”

I held my arms open. “How about a hug and a fruit toast? I’ll give you a cup of Papa’s special juice, too.” Bis would be annoyed, but he knew full well that if the tables were turned he’d’ve folded too. Izzy went feral for the expensive organic tropical blend juice Bis treated himself to, which meant we couldn’t let him drink it except on special occasions. And what was more special than a bribe–er, his first Halloween?

Izzy threw himself into my arms with an angry huff, but he clung tight to me and took my comfort. He was getting so heavy now, but I managed to maneuver him onto my hip and free an arm to make him his meal. I’d gotten scary-good at doing shit one-handed thanks to this kid. “Do you promise I’m gonna have enough candy, Daddy?” he sniffled, rubbing his face against my shoulder to wipe the boogers from his nose. I stifled a shudder and kissed his soft fuzzy head.

“Yeah, baby. There’s like, twenty other families participating; you’re going to get so much candy. You won’t be able to eat it all in one night. Or even one week! You’re going to be sick of candy by the end of it.”

He giggled, his wings shivering behind him. “That’s impossible.”

Once Izzy was fed and content to go back to watching his movie, I finished getting ready for trick-or-treaters and went to put on my costume. 

If you’d’ve told me a decade ago that I’d be a family man spending Halloween doing a dorky group costume with my family I probably would have laughed in your face and then maybe cried in private, because I was a little weird back then and struggling with some things and didn’t quite know what I wanted or who I was yet. But the fact was that I was thrilled to be a part of my weird, random assortment of Avengers, and I hadn’t hesitated for even a second to completely dork out.

See, Izzy loved Black Panther. He really liked how T’Challa helped his people and worked so hard to keep order in the group and his kingdom. He loved the suit and the cool afrofuturistic tech. But Bis had an OTP that he was dying to see finally come together that the movies had denied him, which was how I’d gotten roped into being the Hulk to his Black Widow. 

But Bis, I’d said, staring up at my much larger mate in confusion, shouldn’t you be the Hulk? To which he’d responded that green and purple suited me better, and that because his favorite of my cocks was big and green, that it just made more sense this way. 

I think he just wanted to wear the catsuit. And, red-blooded man that I was, I wanted him to, too. 

The door was shut when I got to our bedroom, explosions rattling the fillings in my teeth from the living room all the way on the other side of the house. I rapped on the door and opened it a crack. “Bis? Is it okay for me to come in?”

“Yes, Elliot, thank goodness! I think I need your help with my costume!” There was a weird note in his voice, but I didn’t think much of it as I slipped into our room and closed the door behind me. Then I turned to see my mate stuffed into shiny, skin-tight black latex. 

I swallowed, twisting the lock on the doorknob to engage it. Arousal shot through me so fast and so hard it made me lightheaded and weak at the knees. Every lean muscle, every jut and curve of my mate’s large but lithe frame was suddenly visible and highlighted, his velvety fuzz hidden under the wet-looking material. And his ass–

Sweet jesus, his ass. The man had gotten himself high heeled boots to go with the suit, and his normally perfect buns had transcended words. They had become a metaphysical experience, a shape so perfect and biteable it melted the mind and reduced otherwise rational people to unthinking creatures of madness. I wanted to screech and howl and sob on my knees at the sight of those succulent orbs locked away behind that latex.

“Bis.” Was that rough, squeaky sound my voice? I cleared my throat and tried again. “Bis, what…” Shit, I didn’t even know what I wanted to ask him. What had I even come in here for again?

“Do you like it, Elliot?” he purred, one of his clawed hands stroking down a sumptuous ass cheek to jiggle it. I whimpered, taking a jerky step closer to my mate.

“What…what help did you need with the costume, baby?” I finally managed, my eyes still glued to his body. I heard him chuckle before he turned around, robbing me of the view of my personal heaven to let me take in the front of him. “When did your tiddies get so biteable?” I whispered, mouth dry.

Bis struck a pose, his thighs squeezing together and his hands grabbing his meaty pecs. “They have always been biteable. You just haven’t appreciated them.” His tone was sulky, but the expression on his handsome face was all heat and teasing. 

I closed the distance between us, my hands going to his hips and drawing his body close against mine. With the heels on he towered over me, but he wasn’t going to be on his feet for much longer. Not if I had my way. 

My hands slid up his body, my fingers digging into his flesh appreciatively. “You can’t wear this tonight,” I told him, backing him up until the backs of his knees hit the edge of our bed. “I can’t walk around our neighbors and their children this fucking horny. You’re a goddamn menace in this thing, Bis.”

He trilled, his antennae twitching with amusement. “Then I suppose you should help me take it off.” He leaned down, his spicy-sweet scent invading my nostrils. He nuzzled my cheek, then licked the shell of my ear, making me choke. “With your teeth.”

I whimpered, my dick giving a hard throb at his words, at how his body felt pressed to mine in that absurd getup. I managed enough control over myself to double check that the bedroom door was definitely locked, and then I was mauling Bis like a wildcat.

I sunk my fingers in the decadent fluff of his neck ruff, which he’d left out of the latex catsuit, gripping the nape of his neck and yanking him down into a brutal kiss. He cupped my face, his chest beginning its happy rumbling purr as our mouths connected and his tongue plunged past my lips. 

I nipped his bottom lip, sucking on it instead of trying to soothe it, and reached around behind him to take his perfect fucking ass in my hands. I groaned at the way he fit against my palms, at how his taut flesh jumped and splayed under my rough handling. “How the fuck do I get this thing off?”

“Any way you can, I think.”

I groaned again, kissing him some more and removing one of my hands from his ass to try and find a zipper…and coming up empty. I broke our kiss, my brow furrowing, and spun him carefully, poking and prodding at the suit and finding nothing. 

“Okay seriously, how the fuck did you even get this on?”

“Dark magicks,” Bis chuckled, his antennae twitching with amusement. “I was not kidding when I said you should remove it with your teeth. Here–” He turned, putting his back to me and dazzling me with another glimpse of the Ass of the Covenant, then bent himself over the bed and pinched the latex between his thumb and forefinger to raise it from his skin and puncture the material with his claws, leaving a little hole when he released it. 

“Your ass in that suit is the only dark magic I’m seeing. I don’t even care how corny that line sounds, it’s just the truth.” I caressed his cheeks, slapping and squeezing and spreading him until I couldn’t handle it anymore–I worked the tip of my index finger into the hole he’d made and yanked with all my strength, tearing the suit open down the crack of his ass and slightly onto one thick and quivering thigh. 

I dropped to my knees behind him, desperate to get my mouth all over my mate. I grabbed him again and sank my fingers into his flesh, leaning in and letting my teeth follow, trailing nips and nibbles along each cheek before spreading him wide and pressing a soft, wet kiss to his tight pucker. Moths worked a little differently in this area, but my mate still loved a good rimming, and I love giving it to him, his huge body always so sensitive and responsive to my attentions. I grinned at the way he fluttered and gasped, already pressing back into me, as I parted my lips and gave him a long, leisurely lick, taking my time, savoring the tangy musk of his soft skin. 

Bis panted and wriggled in my grasp, his hips starting to roll and twitch as I fucked him with my tongue. “Elliot,” he breathed, reaching back to clasp one of my hands, and I threaded our fingers together, letting him feel me there with him. My other hand snaked around his hip palm his slit, the flesh hot and hard and bulging under my palm. Bis hissed with pleasure, his big dark wings shivering above me. 

My fingers traced up until I found the dip of his navel, then I dug in until I was able to get a grip on the material and tug it away from his body. My nails were too blunt to puncture the material though, and I thought my teeth would be too, so I took my mouth back to tell him to rip it in between reverent kisses to the curve of his ass. I felt drunk, my head heavy and eyes unfocused as I struggled to take in yet again that these miles of plush silky flesh were mine to pleasure, mine to taste, for the rest of our lives. 

Bis did as I said, starting a hole on the front just like he had the back, and I ripped down violently, allowing his straining cock to finally slide free from his slit with an obscene squelch that had my groin aching and clenching. I pumped his beaded length, my fist gliding thanks to the lubrication he produced. 

“How do you want this, baby?” I managed to ask, my fist squeezing the biggest “bead” at the base of his cock and making him jolt and thrust into my fist. “Any preferences?”

Through his wildly quivering and fluttering wings I saw his head shake. “N-no. I just–ah!–I just want you to take me hard, sweetling,” Fuck, that nickname still did such filthy things to me. 

I stood, peeling my clothes off quickly. “Well then, since it’s Halloween and you’re dressed up like Black Widow, I think I need to break out the Hulk.” 

Bis grinned at me over his shoulder, then got up to sit on the edge of the bed, stroking himself languidly as I got myself ready, trying to distract me with just how fucking sexy he was, splayed out and in ripped up latex, the fur of his crotch already damp with his arousal. I stalked over to him, grabbing his hips and yanking him back to the edge of the bed. “Are you feeling needy, baby?” I asked, grabbing his hand to still it and gripping his chin with the other so I could capture his lips in another kiss. “Do you need you mate to fuck you senseless?”

He nodded eagerly, his red eyes dazed. “More than anything. Please, sweetling. I need you so bad.” His hands trailed up and down my chest, his claws scraping deliciously, and I reached between us, feeding the fat, slippery green head of my cock into Bis’s weeping channel. I pressed in slowly, letting him feel every inch of me, relishing how his eyes fluttered closed and his antennae sagged to the sides of his head in bliss.

“Elliot,” he breathed, his hands gripping my biceps hard. “Oh, sweet.” I pulled out just as slowly, until just the tip was still inside him, then pushed back in, my hand on his cock just as slow and deliberate. Bis fell back onto his elbows, keeping his wings out of the way, and drew his knees up, trying to get purchase against the mattress to fight my maddeningly slow pace, to coax me into the hard fucking he was craving. “Please, love, stop teasing me,” he panted, “Please, sweet–”

I slammed into him hard, a shiver running down my spine at the pleasure that spiked through me at the friction to my own sex and the way his flesh shivered against mine from the impact. I let go of his cock and put both my hands on his thighs, pushing gently to spread him further, setting a brutal pace with my hips that had him keening. His own hand started flying over his cock, precum and lube dribbling and pooling on his flat stomach as I hammered into him, tagging his pleasure spot deep inside his channel every time I rammed myself home with practiced ease. 

Heat was pooling heavily in my belly, faint flits and flutters of my own orgasm teasing at the periphery, but it was Bis I was focused on: his strangled cries, his ragged breaths, the way he squirmed and trembled and quivered under my assault. I released one of his legs to grip his hip instead, giving me better leverage, and with just a few more thrusts he was there, his muscles locking up and his noises trailing off. I ground into him, rolling my pelvis  into his, and sagged forward to capture his mouth in a bruising kiss, swallowing his sobs of pleasure as he came. His claspers latched onto my hips as hot spurts of his cum painted our bodies, making me moan and grind myself more aggressively against the base of the dildo, chasing my own release. 

I still wasn’t quite there even once Bis stilled and his claspers released me, his cock softening and trying to pull back into his slit now that he’d come, so I eased myself from his channel and unbuckled the strap, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. Bis shifted around while I was occupied, getting his wings nestled into the cutout in our specially-designed bed, pulling me close. “Come here, sweetling,” he purred, kneading my ass with his fingers as he guided my hips in front of his face. “You did so good, love. You always take such good care of me.” His tongue slipped from between his lips, curling around my hard length to lick and suck me. I moaned, one hand cupping the back of his head while the other played with the sensitive bases of his antennae. 

“Fuck, Bis,” I groaned, his talented tongue inching me closer with every blissful drag. “F-fingers, baby. Use your fingers too.” 

He hummed, and I heard an obscene wet noise. I cracked an eye open and saw that he’d gathered his slick and the residual lube and was coating his fingers in it, getting himself nice and slippery. I shivered, gasping when he took those fingers and used them to caress my back hole, circling the ring of muscle once before sinking a finger inside slowly. I groaned, feeling myself clenching on the intruding digit. “More, Bis. More.” 

He chuckled, but did as I’d asked and added another, rocking his fingers into me in time with his tongue and lips on my dick. Pleasure built, tightening my muscles, and I rocked into his movements, chasing my release. He started to swirl his fingers inside me, the sensation making me freeze from how good it felt, and then the hollow sucking end of his tongue was working at me, and that was it–I shattered against him with a ragged cry, my hips pressed hard against his mouth and my ass spasming around his fingers. Bis cooed and hummed, not letting up, prolonging my pleasure, winding me up impossibly tighter, until I was coming again, my legs giving out this time so that he had to band one strong arm around me and hold me up. I felt muscles deep inside myself contracting with pleasure, my mind blank and senseless to anything but the impossible, incredible things Bis was doing to me. 

The next thing I was aware of was Bis laying me down on my back and gently cleaning me up with a damp rag, his touch featherlight but still too much on my oversensitive skin. “You trying to kill me, Bis?” I croaked, grinning at him blearily so he knew I wasn’t serious. 

He gifted me one of his sugar-sweet smiles, pausing in his cleanup to give me a kiss that was all tenderness. “You’re a big, tough man. I knew you could handle it.”

I chuckled, snagging him around the waist and pulling him down on top of me for a cuddle. “I love you, you lunatic. Even if you are trying to make me literally cum my brains out half the time.”

He lifted his head to nuzzle me, then pressed his face into my throat. “And I love you, my Elliot. My sweet, strong mate.”

Banging on the door jolted us both out of our post-coital haze with a curse. “Are you guys okay?! I heard noises and crying!”

I pursed my lips and looked at Bis, who was biting his own lips to keep from laughing. “Yeah, Izz. Me and your Papa are fine. Go back to your movie, honey.”

The doorknob rattled and I sighed, pressing one last kiss to the side of Bis’ head before squirming out from under him and throwing my clothes back on. I shoved the used dildo into Bis’ hands and then shooed him into our attached bathroom to clean up while I took care of Izzy. 

“It smells weird in here, what were you guys doing?” my son asked as soon as I let him in, his little nose wrinkling. I heard Bis choke in the bathroom and my face went flaming hot.

“Adult things, baby. Don’t worry about it. What is it you need this time?”

“It’s trick-or-treat time, Daddy! It’s time to smell my beef!”

I laughed, ruffling the fuzz at the back of his neck. “The rhyme is ‘trick-or-treat, smell my feet or give me something good to eat’. There’s no beef.”

“I like saying beef.”

“You know what, fair. You gotta do what feels right…” I dug my cheap Hulk costume out of its bag and slipped it on over my shirt and jeans, the weather cold and damp enough that I’d need all the layers I could get. Izzy got a kick out of me flexing and growling and pretending to wallop him with punches while Bis cleaned up. Shortly after, my mate stepped out of the bathroom wearing a much more identifiable Black Widow costume complete with an adorable red wig with holes for his antennae, and somehow I managed to fall even more in love with my moth than I already was at the sight.

“How do I look, my loves?” he asked, getting into a stylized crouch with his fake handguns and taking my breath away. 

“You look just like her, Papa! So cooooool!” Izzy jumped over to Bis’ side, getting into a similar crouch and swiping his little claws around frantically, adding an entire suite of sound effects with his mouth. Bis played along, keeping his movements slow and controlled to counter Izzy’s chaos, and I melted, throwing myself in there and getting an arm around each of them.

“Hulk smash!” I growled, squeezing them tight and giving them loud, smacking kisses. Izzy squealed, trying to wriggle free, but Bis just chuckled and kissed me back. 

“Let us go ruin our child with sugar, sweetness,” Bis murmured, hauling us both upright and taking my hand. “I can hear the other mothlings outside already.”